Final Thoughts

Three years. I remember talking with a friend at our going away party about the possibility of adding a third year and thinking that sounded like such a long time. And now I sit here in shock as we get ready for this huge transition home.

There are too many things to say. Too many wonderful memories and life changing experiences to be able to sum it all up in one blog. Well, in one blog that people would actually want to read anyway. I was always excited about coming to India, especially as Reid was so excited and I knew it was a special place already for him. But I leave being able to fully say that India is my own. This place grabbed my from the inside out, sometimes twisting in uncomfortable or even heart-wrenching ways, overwhelming and frustrating to the point of wanting to get on a plane and forget it all, but mostly it washed over me with love, acceptance, and a new way of looking at life through the eyes of such wonderful people from so many differing cultures- from within India itself to the fabulous staff members and students we had the privilege to work with from all over the globe.

Reflecting over the past three years of course we can't forget the amazing things we've seen and learned from all of our travel. The trips we were able to take in India felt like going to differing countries themselves with the rich and diverse cultures within this ancient society. We were in constant awe not only at the amazing historical sights, but the friendly and generous people we met along the way. I was pushed way past my comfort level many times, usually resulting in a fabulous and memorable experience. And let's not forget the incredible summer trip through the UK and Norway and Sweden. Or that trip to Borneo. Where we climbed up and down a mountain. Or our school related trips to Aberdeen, Hong Kong, Dubai, Dhaka, and Chennai. Did all of these actually happen?

And then of course there is ASB. When I think about how much I've grown as an educator in three years- finishing my thesis, publishing my first academic article, really getting into constructivist teaching and learning, I am energized to bring some of these amazing ideas back to the Twin Cities. I am going to miss these students more than I can express. A truly diverse community, I was challenged to relate to students from all over the globe. But they are true reflective thinkers, love music making, and I believe will be right at the top of the movers and shakers of the world some day. THE STAFF. These educators and support staff will go down in my book as some of the best in the world. We learned so much from their passion, cutting edge ideas, their openness and dedication to their students. Not to mention they are super fun and truly interesting people. When else in our life will we play a round of bean bags with people from New Zealand, England, India, the US, France, and Canada?

Oh, and hey, we became parents. A whole new insight into this world, our identities changed forever, began here and has bonded us, and Daniel, to this place forever. The amount of love and support we have had from friends, colleagues, and sweet little old Indian ladies on the street has been more special, and so welcomed as we miss our family back home than I can express.

They say you just can't explain India, you have to experience it. Well, we've tried our best to share with you all a little of our adventure while here but there is real truth to that statement. No doubt we are ecstatic to come home and rejoin our family and friends in a place we love so dearly as Minneapolis. But there will definitely be a tough transition as we figure out our new lives that will seem familiar, yet changed forever.

But above it all, we leave with an intense feeling of gratitude. For what we have been given in this life, for the opportunities that have presented themselves to us, for the chance to learn, grow, and see this part of the world, and for a such a lovely home and life to go back to.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for the support. Thank you for taking the adventure with us.

-Rachel

Year Three Summary

We keep saying it over and over again ... we are so blessed with such a fantastic opportunity and we cannot believe that it has been three years.  The veteran international crew of course just takes this in stride but as we are heading home in a week, it is a great time to reflect.

Going through the photos this year they are obviously dominated by Daniel and the guests that got to stay at our apartment.  We had fewer travel experiences of course, but still managed to see some new sights and continue to explore India.

As we head back home, leaving is such a bittersweet, conflicted emotional roller coaster.  We love teaching at ASB and love living in such a vibrant, dynamic, exciting city.  But we love being around family and the Twin Cities friends and all those new babies back home to introduce Daniel too.

We have been effected and affected.  We are more patient, less rushed, and overwhelmingly grateful for our privileged lives.

We know that we will be back to India.  That's a given -- just not so sure when.  Enjoy the video and for those of you who are interested, here's the playlist:

1) "Kinara" by Shankar Tucker featuring Mugdha Hasabnis from the album The Srutibox, Volume 2
2) "DJigee" by House of Waters from the album Revolution -- this is MaxZT, a guest artist we hosted this year
3) "Below My Feet" by Mumford and Songs from the album Babel

And, if you'd like to see the others, click for Year One and Year Two videos.

Christmas in July?

It's finally here -- starting to get 'real' and starting to do the 'lasts.'  On Friday the packers came and were done in a matter of hours.  We've spent three years filling our apartment up with housewares, antique furniture, art, textiles, photographs, clothes -- lots of clothes, baby items and more books that we will be able to read for the next year!  And it all fit in 43 boxes packed by five efficient men in under five hours.  It's a leap of faith that it will all arrive in Minneapolis sometime in July-August of course, but what isn't a leap of faith these days?  By the time those 43 boxes make it to our house in Minneapolis, how many individual people will have a hand in moving them along?  How many times will a customs agent check it?  How many times will they get scanned for banned items (like the cheap spices and medicine we had hoped to ship home).

Does each person how handles our stuff know what it all means?  Please take care of our stone Buddha head - it means a lot to us.  Same with Daniel's hanging cloth birds from The Shop.  And Rachel's painted cabinet from Rajasthan.  Each item we shipped means a lot to us but in the end, it is just stuff and 'things.'  Still, I hope it makes it.

Our global society feels very small when you consider the shipping of our household items back home. We don't even know the route our stuff will take.  Will it go to Singapore, on to Hong Kong, through Taipei and into L.A. and over by truck to our house?  What a journey indeed.

So, a huge thank you to the hundreds of people that will carry a box or two across two oceans and through so many ports, not to mention the 1000+ miles Minneapolis is from either coast.  Please take good care of our stuff, it means a lot to us.

Judging from the smiles and the personalities of our packers from Writer, I have every bit of trust in this process and look forward to "Christmas in July."

Working Mom... Indian Style

So, this is a combined blog about baby as well as about India.

I went back to work on April 1st. I was nervous, a little reluctant, but also excited to see the students again, whom I really love teaching. I knew they were excited to see me which made it easier. But leaving Daniel after being with him all day, everyday, was hard. But, I kept telling myself that so many women go through this, and that I really have the most ideal situation to go back to.

Case in point:

• We have a part time maid who does dishes, laundry, dusting, and other basic cleaning.
• We have a driver, allowing us to spend that time paying attention to Daniel (especially when he starts to fuss about being in the car seat).
• Our grocery store delivers, they know us personally and even go and buy things for us even if they don't have it in the store.
• Take out dinner is cheap, fast, and easy for those nights we don't/can't cook.
• Daniel comes to school with me (there is a small nursery room dedicated for teacher babies). Nataline, who has been our maid, graciously agreed to be his nanny. She is fabulous, caring for him with the greatest love and attention possible. He loves her! And, she still tries her best to take care of me- making sure I have lunch, that we have water, bread, and all the basics in the house.
• Most days, my schedule at school allows me to continue to breastfeed.
• I have the utmost support and understanding from the staff at ASB.
• Let's face it, Daniel is a rock star with adoring fans wherever he goes in the school.

Now, it's still not perfect. Even though he's at school with me, his schedule and mine don't always match, resulting in either missed sleep or delayed feedings. The worst was when we had a miscommunication about the schedule and he went way too long without eating and all three of us were crying when I was finally able to feed him. I've struggled to find time to pump, and in a "21st century" designed school with all open classrooms and windows for walls, there isn't a great place to pump where I don't feel like I'm on display or in the way (even though the staff has been so supportive about it, it still feels strange as there are still students or local staff around) and when I do actually pump, I'm lucky if I can get out a measly ounce or two (which he devours in about 3 seconds). So, then I've gone through the battle of feeling guilty about having to or caving into supplementing with a formula bottle now and then. Also, it's a long day for Daniel, which has resulted in many absolute meltdowns in the car (which in Mumbai afternoon traffic can make 40 minutes seem like an eternity).

But, overall, it's been really positive. I'm still so thankful to be able to continue to breastfeed, and that he is with me at school. I've come to the conclusion that all employers should have a daycare. It's not only good for mom and baby, it's good for the community. Everyone LOVES him and he brightens their day. The staff loves taking a minute to hold him or play with him. My students are so in love with him and it's brought me closer to them in a whole other way. It's brought me closer to the greater community as well- parents, staff and students I don't even teach have gone out of their way to welcome him into this world and support me as a new mother. I am still overwhelmed with their generosity and affection. I know Reid feels the same way. Daniel is flourishing in such a loving environment. And though it's been a transition for us both, I don't think we could have asked for a better situation.

They say it takes a village to raise a child. Though I know we will be welcomed with equal amounts of love and support back home, there are parts of this equation we cannot recreate in the US. We will definitely miss our ASB village, and treasure these first few months of Daniel's life with them.

Rachel

*side note- nothing has been more fun than seeing the joy Daniel brings to Indians and other strangers we meet when we're out and about. Our favorite are the little old Indian ladies that just light up, touch his feet and then kiss their hands/fingers and look up at the sky in praise/thanks for him. I've been told I'm a beautiful mother, that he has amazing eyes, and a favorite joke is when we meet other little girl babies that we should fix an arranged marriage right then and there. Do American's love babies this much? Are they as open and welcoming with strangers? I guess we'll find out.

Traveling With Baby

Reid already wrote about the highlights of the trip, so we decided that I would write about the change in traveling with an infant.

First off, I have to say I was a little nervous about it- bugs and sun/heat really. So, I went to the brigade of awesome ASB moms that were more than helpful with advice. So, instead of packing the night before, I spent the week before going over what we should bring traveling with a 3 month old in southern India at the end of March. Though we obviously had more stuff, we were still able to forego the luggage cart at the airport (but we did have extra hands with Rob and Emily with us).

Basically, this kid was a champ. Minimal fussing that was tag-teamed by all four of us. I was a little worried about now being the one with the infant that everyone wonders on the plane how much crying they'll have to deal with. But, he was fine, all smiles, or sleeping on the way down. Cochin we had an AC room in a beautiful homestay. After an outing in the morning and getting super hot and sweaty (it was the HOTTEST/MOST HUMID weather I've ever been in and the least amount of places with A/C), we'd just take a break in the A/C at our hotel. Or, we just planned on finding a cafe for a cool drink (under a fan) and a chance to get the baby hydrated as well (I was a bit of a milk machine to be honest).

There were of course no shortage of huge smiles and excitement over Daniel from passers-by. Not to toot our own horn, but, this kid is really damn cute. He smiles at anyone who smiles at him and has now added a cacophony of adorable sounds/exclamations. Which apparently is irresistible to Keralans because before I knew it at lunch one day the waiter (whom I had watched wash his hands) basically took him right out of my lap and promptly paraded him around to the other tables. This happened three other separate times on the trip, including a Saudi Arabian woman, the owner of a different restaurant, and a pediatrician who had just finished her own veg thali lunch and was extremely excited about Daniel. I have to say I had a little mama bear moment each time (mostly about germs) but in each case I had seen them wash their hands and decided to roll with the punches, and fun cultural interactions were had.

The backwater houseboat was great to relax on, stripping him down to just his diaper and he could get his wiggles out at anytime, and of course, LOTS of great playtime with Grandma and Grandpa. He had his first thunderstorm experience which the prestorm he thought was fabulous, giggling as the wind would rush across his face along with the cooler temperatures. But, as soon as the thunder and lightning hit, he freaked out (poor thing) and cried inconsolably until I finally suggested we just try the bedtime routine and he eventually crashed. Not too many places to hide from a thunderstorm when you're on a houseboat.

Varkala was tough. The homestay was beautiful, but, no A/C and mom and baby struggled to go anywhere. He may have been a successful backwater baby, but he was not excited about being a beach baby. After lots of screams (and a few wayward looks from other beachgoers) I gave up and he and I decided to lay low at the hotel the rest of our time there (at least we had a beautiful balcony to enjoy).

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Trivandrum he was a little tired and slept through most of the sights. We headed back on the airplane (again, he was the one baby out of about 10 that was NOT screaming on the plane) and once we were back home, he realized it and started squealing with delight. The other crazy thing was all of a sudden he was doing new things- like grabbing/manipulating toys, giggling, putting weight on his feet... ready set go I guess!

So, we're planning a last little trip to Paris on our way home in June. With a little slower pace and a plan B ready, Daniel and his travel companions had a super successful first trip. Hopefully this baby continues his travel savvy behavior for his travel-happy parents!

Krusin' in Kerala

For our spring break, we were joined by Grandma and Grandpa Wixson and we ventured south to Kerala.  It was a spectacular week full of great interactions with the locals, amazing seafood, and delightful bed and breakfast hosts.

We began our week in historic Fort Cochin, a centuries old port city with several layers of history.  The signature scene of the city are the cantilevered Chinese-designed fishing nets.  We spent many hours strolling along the port watching the fishermen bringing in their nets and even, you can browse the day's catch, pick out what you want, and, this being India, a guy brought it in a plastic bag to a make-shift kitchen.  It was some of the best seafood we've ever had.

Fort Cochin is also famous for it's spice warehouses, particularly ginger and pepper.  As we saw in Michael Wood's "The Story of India," throughout the Jewish area of the city you can find vast warehouses that are hidden behind non-descript small doors.  Once we knew how to identify them, we discovered that by simply knocking and chatting with their propietors they were happy to give us a short tour of their facilities.

It was a remarkable experience to breath in the spiced air, but more than that, we truly were able to connect with a few locals who were happy to chat with us curious tourists, not just the cruise-ship types they normally see.

Next on the trip was our two-night houseboat cruise through a few of the 900km of canals that form the old transportation network of rural Kerala.  It was a very relaxing time, perfect for Daniel to get out a stretch, while we slowly motored down the canals.  Mostly, we watched people go about their daily lives and enjoyed seeing the brightly colored houses with their brightly dressed, sari-wearing occupants, set against the lush green background.  We smiled at the quaint scenes like a very overloaded canoe transporting rice barely staying afloat, children swimming, or a middle-aged man in a narrow hand dugout canoe herding thousands of ducks.

 Of course with all that water, Grandpa Rob couldn't resist dropping a line in with the crew of the boat. He even caught a small fish!

Next stop was Varkala, a special stop for me as I had traveled there ten years back with Laura, Bill, and Cathy on vacation from Kodaikanal International School.  It was HOT!  But, it was beautiful and there is such a chill vibe with so many fellow travelers all taking a break for their more adventurous travels.  It was here that, we all agreed, we had the best tasting fish any of us had ever had.  It was a 3-4 lb red snapper cooked whole on a skewer in the tandoor oven brushed with a light yogurt and masala rub mix.  

We finished our trip with a day of sight-seeing in Trivandrum, the capital city.  There we enjoyed the zoo and the old maharaja palaces.  We also had a great veg thali!

It was a great trip full of food, culture, and best of all, family time for us.  All travelers did exceptionally well, but most of all we were so proud of Daniel, he was a great traveler and is looking forward to his next trip, probably just as much as his travel-bug-bitten parents.

And Soon the Duet Will Became a Trio (well.. we became a trio!)

A little musical reference in the title to start ;-)

I can't believe it's been a month since our dear Daniel came into this world. I've wanted to sit down and write every detail since that happened, but, as many parents know, life gets pretty busy with a baby! This blog is going to be WAY longer than any blog entry should be, but, I need to get it all out or I'll forget later, so, I will not be offended if the only people who make it through this are our parents.

I consider myself to have had a very fortunate pregnancy. I only ever had minor issues and only one random but treatable complication at the end. I was preparing myself for a long and hard delivery since I figured karma had to kick in at some point, right?

Sunday, December 15th we went to the movies with our friends Jane and Viren (The Hobbit). I'll admit that my back had been hurting more and the previous week I had begun to show signs of prelabour, but, I still had two weeks before my due date, and everyone was telling me that first babies are always late, so, I was trying to psych myself up for another couple weeks of discomfort and trying not to be too anxious to finally meet this thing that had grown inside me for the previous nine months. That night I didn't sleep well (but nothing too abnormal for the end of pregnancy) and my back hurt so bad that by 4am I gave up and got out of bed. Right as I was moving to get out of bed, for a few seconds I thought my water had broke, but, then it stopped, so, I went and put some ice on my back and started contemplating whether or not to take off work for the day. Reid woke up at the normal 6am, and asked me if he needed to stay home. As the pain was only getting worse and has I had started to have some pain in my abdomen as well, I told him to get ready for school but that I'd call the midwife and ask what she thought about my symptoms (at this point I figured it was false labour). Then BAM. The contractions started coming, and coming often. Every 4-5 minutes. I thought, "This can't be it. That's already Stage 2 of labour. I probably ate something bad..." The midwife came over, checked me, and I was already 5 cm dilated and mostly effaced. She was just as surprised as I was.

I'll be honest and that whole morning is just snapshots and blurred memories. I remember sitting on my knees in the car hanging onto the head rest and thanking God that it was early morning and that we didn't have to deal with traffic. We get to the hospital and they send me to the emergency room, despite all three of us insisting that I was in labour and that we just needed to go to the birthing level. We had the documents ready (the ones that were supposedly all we needed to show up for delivery) but as in true Indian fashion, we didn't get to go up until about 5 other people came into the ER to discuss what to do with me (meanwhile I'm contracting every few minutes). We get admitted up to the labour room and they have Reid go fill out paperwork while Lina, the midwife, stayed with me. More confusion with the paperwork kept Reid downstairs for a bit, so, I was so thankful to have Lina there with me. The head gynecologist of the hospital came and insisted I could not possibly as far along as we told them. She checked and conceded that I was maybe 4cm and then scolded me a bit for waiting so long to come to the hospital and that she would immediately send for the epidural. I said I didn't want one and she and the other nurses looked thoroughly complexed. I conceded that if I wanted one later that I would inform them. I think my low long grunting sounds I was making during contractions was probably weirding them out a bit, and later I found out that most had not seen a totally drug free delivery before.

The next few hours were spent ritually grabbing onto Reid's shoulders and resting my head on his chest and rocking back and forth in the "slow dance" pose while Lina pushed down hard on my back with each contraction. I think at one point I laid down on my side, but standing was so much more comfortable (and FORGET sitting or lying on my back). The fetal monitor I had to wear lying flat for 20 minutes was the longest 20 minutes of my life (again, much to the confusion the head gyno and the nurses who couldn't understand why I wasn't lying down in bed this whole time). When my gynecologist showed up I think the words "Praise Jesus" came across my lips. He is so popular, working 4-5 hospitals and 2 clinics and you just don't know with Mumbai traffic that I had fully prepared myself to have him not make it to my delivery (especially with how seemingly fast it was going). He predicted I'd deliver within the next couple hours and I remember the pain was starting to get to me a bit and it was at this point that I remember sort of "checking out". I remember telling myself over and over again in my head "I can do this. I trust my body. My body was made to do this" and Reid later told me he heard me say it out loud once in awhile too. And then it was like I couldn't help it... I needed to push. Lina heard the change in my, well, gruntings, and informed the staff. They checked, asked me to wait a little bit more, but not long after we were soon ready to go to the delivery room. They brought in a gurney, which was ridiculous as the delivery room was literally across the hall from my room, so, I waddled past it (again to the stares of the hospital staff) and up onto the delivery table. I remember someone pulling off my socks and Dr. Sheriar helping me get into position.

The pushing stage I remember the least details. I remember for some reason having to be on my back, which is exactly what I DIDN"T want and that the pain was beyond intense. After we had begun, our pediatrician arrived and I said another "thank you God" as he is also a very busy man. Then I noticed about 12 other random people in the room. It's a good thing I'm not a very particular (or modest) person with such things as the people with clipboards in their suits took notes and asked questions. I guess we were one of the first foreign couples to choose this rather new hospital and they wanted to make sure everything was going well and take notes on the process. My doctor in between contractions would instruct them on what the delivery room should have, what inventory they were low on or missing and what to expect or be prepared for. Reid and Lina wiped sweat off my face or continued to get me drinks of water (I do remember feeling about as hot as I've ever been). My doctor and our pediatrician know each other well and were chatting back and forth (again, after coaching me through each contraction) when I heard him say "You know, these are music teachers, we better have some music in here!" and he got out his phone and all of a sudden I'm pushing to the music of ABBA (S.O.S.) and Queen. There was a moment when I thought, "this is definitely strange. I'm making low, grunting, animal like sounds, sweating buckets, probably pooping on the table but can't tell,  and they're all chatting away and rocking out to Bohemian Rhapsody." - Like I was just another person in the room hanging out and could start singing along at any moment.

After good progress, things started to slow down. I remember feeling my contractions getting weaker, no matter how hard I pushed. I guess the labour had been so hard, intense, and fast, and my baby's head was turned sideways and having a hard time getting through, that my body began to give up. After trying to move the head manually, the doctor warned me we may need to get out the vacuum and I just thought to myself that after all this please let the vacuum work, I really did not want a c-section. After the pediatrician on one side and the hospital gynecologist on the other pushing down from my stomach to help still didn't get him out, the vacuum was inserted and he said that with one final push together I would have my baby.

And then I pushed as hard as I could and he didn't come out. All of a sudden I heard fast Hindi being spoken and people moving around. The gentle coaching from my doctor and the pediatrician turned into strong almost football-coach like intensity, yelling at me that I NEEDED to push harder, right now, no HARDER. I remember I started to feel tears coming at this point and saying something like my body was so tired. Why wasn't my baby out? I could tell something hadn't gone right but didn't understand what was happening. And then the pressure released (but not the pain) and I saw the top of the head of my baby as they put him on my stomach. I was so out of it and still not sure what was going on. I remember Reid's voice in my ear whispering "It's a boy". Our pediatrician gently told me that he would let me hold him briefly but that in 15 seconds he was going to take him away because he needed a little help. I looked at the clock, it was 12:20. Six hours earlier I had been debating whether or not to go to work.

I remember watching Reid go over to the warmer/baby station across the room with the pediatrician as I lay there, absolutely in shock and exhausted. And then the fast Hindi from my doctor started up again, and I heard the word "hemorrhage". I felt a stab in my left thigh from a shot, an IV that had been put in just in case during labour was then set up, and two pills were put under my tongue, all of which quickly stopped the excessive bleeding hat had begun.

You never hear about the couple hours after a birth. I did not get to immediately hold my baby. I lay there, now on pain killers and anti-coagulants (that later on made me freezing and convulse for about a half hour) while they sewed me up. Lina stayed with me, giving me more water and telling me what was going on over with Reid and our son. Reid cut the umbilical cord and threw away the razor in the biohazard waste basket AFTER the hospital staff said to just throw it on the floor and our pediatrician promptly yelled at them that that was NOT ok. I didn't have my glasses on, but I could see that they were checking the baby's heart rate (which was exorbitantly fast) and doing something with his arm. After things calmed down, Reid came back over and we decided officially that his name would be Daniel Richard, one of maybe three times I've seen actual tears in my husband's eyes. They wrapped Daniel up and brought him over to me and I finally got to hold him and have our first moment of breast feeding.

Still on the birthing table almost an hour later, most of the staff had left, Reid, Lina, and Daniel had gone back to our room, and I lay there feeling like my lower body had been run over by a dump truck, wondering how in the world I was ever going to get off the table. Two Indian help staff ladies were nervously discussing something, holding gauze and bandages and pointing at different parts of me. I realized they did not know what to do. They finally got up to courage to ask the remaining nurse in the room who was writing notes on a clipboard. She briefly described something in Hindi and also pointed to parts of me and then left the room. The two ladies looked terrified. I mustered a smile and they slowly began to put on what felt like the worlds biggest home made diaper. They helped me put on a new gown, get off the table and into a wheel chair, and back to my room. I smiled at them and they looked beyond relieved.

For the next four days these two room cleaners/assistants constantly came in to check on me and try to communicate in some way, thrilled to have contact with Americans (and also thrilled I think that I didn't yell at them or get them in trouble some way). The phrase that the nurses and assistants kept telling me with wide eyes was "madam, so strong"- again, they were so amazed that I had made it through without pain killers (though, was on pain killers AFTER!) and I have to say that if I had had a really long labour, I don't know if I would have made it through without that epidural, but, I'm still a little proud of myself all the same.

We learned shortly after being back in our room that the vacuum had indeed gotten the head out, but that the shoulders got stuck. I guess this is a very dangerous and serious situation as the baby goes into distress but doing an emergency c-section is no longer a possibility. I guess nature knows best because Daniel's right collar bone broke and that's how he was finally able to get out. I was horrified to see the x-ray, feeling like I had damaged my baby and convinced that I could have pushed harder or done something better, frustrated with my body for getting weaker at the end, but finally let it go after much reassuring from the doctors that it would heal fast, there was no nerve damage, and that it really was the best case scenario for that situation and that all would be fine.

I could write a whole other entry on the first few days after. I didn't cry with joy or feel stressed, scared, or anything that you see in the movies. It was like "ok, now we're parents" and it was all totally... normal.

The hospital time was quiet, restful, sweet (they set up a candlelight dinner for us one night). We left and came home. The moment I walked into our apartment, holding my son, I started to cry. We were home. How much had changed since the last time I walked into that room? I was so... happy. Though pregnancy can seem like forever, 38 weeks, or any amount of time, is insufficient to prepare you for whenever that moment of realization comes.

I'm still in shock. I look down at him sometimes and wonder- are you really mine? Were you really what was kicking and hiccuping inside of me all this time? Can it be possible? Can you really be as beautiful as I think you are?

But mostly, I think about just how blessed Reid and I really are- in one another and now with our child. We've been through ten years together (our 7th wedding anniversary is this summer), and been through many adventures- our senior year of college, living in an Aztec village in Mexico and starting a community band, our first years of teaching, buying a house, moving/traveling to India, back packing in the British Isles and Scandinavia, hiking up Mt. Kinabalu in Borneo.... but, even though we're only one month into it, I know this parenting experience will be our biggest, and best adventure to come.